Are we really superior beings? Sometimes I wonder how we can claim superiority when we cannot even control a single moment of our lives. I no longer consider myself superior. I am just an ordinary, helpless being, a free-willed, helpless creature, bound by enormous, never-ending chains. These are the chains that come with following social norms, along with those of despair and sadness. One ties me to the need to maintain my self-image, another binds me to protecting the honor of distant family members who only appear when my life is in crisis. I am bound by the chain of damn FATE.
My words may seem offensive or blasphemous. Some might get offended by my harsh remarks. See, this is how helpless we humans are. We are forced to control our thoughts and limit our expressions so that the so-called castle of our beliefs does not come crashing down. The beliefs that we have never genuinely reflected on, we merely follow them because we were told to, or rather because we were forced to follow them.
I was unable to get admission to my desired college. Why? Because I could not clear the entrance exam. I attempted the test three times, sacrificing 1095 days of my life, a life given only once. I studied day and night for this exam, going to the lengths of placing a brick under my head to keep myself from falling into deep sleep. When it pierced me, I woke up, discomforted, and started studying again. My mother and I prayed constantly for my success. Despite all efforts, I could not clear it. I was helpless.
One day, on an extremely hot summer afternoon, as I was returning home from college, a poor little girl asked me for some money. I truly wanted to help her, but when I checked my bag, I found only 30 rupees, the exact amount needed for my metro fare to get back home. I looked into her hopeless eyes and then at my helpless hands. I moved forward with a heavy heart, thinking throughout my way home about my helplessness, my inability to help those in need, to provide them food, clothes, shelter, books, toys, and comfort. But all I had were those 30 rupees. I was helpless.
Have you ever seen helplessness in the eyes of someone whose beloved is leaving after saying the final goodbyes? Have you witnessed the despair of a lover praying for their beloved to turn back one last time, to warmly hold their hand and see their eyes tearing up, with lips sealed and eyes screaming silently? Can you force someone to love you? Can you compel someone to stay? Can you bend circumstances to become favourable so you can remain with the love of your life until your last breath? No. You cannot control any of these, because we are helpless.
Can you imagine the helplessness of a daughter sitting nervously beside her unconscious mother’s hospital bed, constantly praying and watching her mother’s chest rise and fall to make sure she is breathing, listening continuously to the beeping of the heart monitoring machine, and eagerly waiting for the doctor to come and say, ‘Don’t worry, your mother is out of danger now?’
We are helpless. Humans are helpless. I wonder how people were able to rule over others when a person cannot even control their own self, their own life. But I think making us helpless was a great DIVINE plan. Our helplessness humbles us. It brings us to our knees before the omnipotent Creator. It teaches us to make dua. It makes us aware of the incredible power of HOPE, the only feeling in this world that never dies.
I think I should stop writing here. Just like my fragmented self, now my thoughts are also becoming fragmented. Helpless or not, all we want is “SUKOON.”

Let moment pass,
Let feeling sway
Because we have to go a long way, a long way.